Frustrated

Edit: Don't know why I couldn't access Blogger yesterday. But well, I was good and I typed this post on Word before posting it up here today. Pardon for the delay.

Now I understand why my senior told me that this preceptorship is going to be anything but easy. Sigh.

Decided to stay on a bit later than usual today hoping that I could pick up a few more things as well as to make up for the few hours that I’ve missed. When I was on the way back, I really couldn’t think of anything else except the assignment I have to complete by tomorrow evening and my general state of tiredness. I wonder how my mom managed to do all the work and still go home to clean the house and take care of us. And to think that there’s still my dad to look after…

And as I finished my dinner and a quick shower, I quickly settled down to do work. I’m just so tired. My mind is working so slowly and I don’t know how to make it move. Why do I get tired so easily? I hope it’s just the inertia thing and eventually I’ll be able to take it as the weeks pass.

I’m very frustrated today because I did not get to learn much. The stuff I did today is similar to the things I have done two years back in Blush!. Doing stock check is something I detest veryvery much. Not only it takes up a lot of time, I have to give so much attention to such a mindless job. Urgh. And the lady pharmacist wasn’t being very nice today. I guess because it’s stock check day and making sure the inventory is in order is far more important than educating us. I tried to learn on my own, but they were so busy that I have no choice but to be “part of the team” and join in the counting. Sigh. I’m really very frustrated. I did a few mistakes (though not major ones), which kind of exposed my thoughtlessness. Things that people would consider them as trivial but it’s a big no-no when it comes to professionalism in pharmacy. I’m also frustrated because I felt that I could do more and I’m not progressing much. I want to learn more and ask more questions and so on, but I feel hampered. Partly because my stern preceptor was on leave for 2 days and I’m stuck with my classmate’s preceptor who seems to be quite partial towards me. I am not learning as much as I should be and I feel slighted! And worse is, when patients actually approach me for questions about medications or health supplements, I had to direct them to the pharmacist because I am not supposed to give them any advice yet. I know I’m being very impatient, but I wanna learn! I mean, they could at least trust me with very simple stuff like recommending things to treat pain, fever, diarrhoea, cold and flu. I feel so useless around the pharmacy. I don’t know about the products as much as the pharmacy assistants do, and yet I’m not in a position to act as a pharmacist-in-training.

As I said, I didn’t learn much today and I’m quite disappointed that my preceptor did not turn up and terrorise me. Hope things will be much better tomorrow.

Think I’ll turn in early tonight. My eyes are hurting like mad and my legs ache and I’m in an annoyed mood. Bah. And oh, I’ve done 3/4 of the assignment. Just a little bit more to go.